I thought I would educate my readers. Hey, I’m a teacher. Can you tell?
Recently, I had the esteemed pleasure of blaming someone else for a deep hurt that I’ve been experiencing lately–Too direct? Yes? Let me say it differently. For quite some time now, I have been quite upset with someone regarding a concern of mine (sorry, the details are classified). I had been trying to move forward, asking God to help me to “forgive” this person. Well, He finally blessed me with the heart of forgiveness, but I wasn’t prepared for how He granted my request.
My story of amnesty began last night, while on an outing with my family. We went to see a popular film, currently in its second weekend of showing. There was a scene in the movie that really struck a chord within me (okay, it was more like a Big Ben-sized gong that vibrated my soul). It was in that moment that I truly realized that I was my own stumbling block on the journey to forgiveness. It was epiphanic, if you will (I’m not sure if that’s even a word, but it is now). I was speechless. I felt like God had laid the holy “smackdown” on me. I mean, it hurt, but He did it with such care. I felt both His chastisement and undying love for me: At the same time.
I started replaying scenarios that occurred between me and this person, and everything started making sense. I felt like I was playing with a Rubic’s cube the way things were clicking into place. It was as if God had shown me the first page of a book, and told me “now, keep reading”. And I kept reading, too. I went to bed in deep thought, and I felt so convicted about it until I woke up with an even heavier mind. I felt like a zombie throughout church service. I just had to call and make this right.
But before I did that, there was someone that I had to talk to first: God.
I felt so sorry for disobeying Him, concerning the whole matter, that I didn’t know how to approach Him. I told Him, “I’m sorry, Lord. Please forgive me. I have been such a bad son. I can’t believe how blatantly disrespectful I’ve been towards you. I am deeply sorry.” As I type this, my heart has begun to beat a little deeper with remorse. I know that I’ve been forgiven, but it still sucks that I treated God that way. So, after church, I called this person, and the strangest thing happened: I asked for their forgiveness. Weird, huh? I kind of thought so too, but I knew that a transformation had happened in me. I knew that I had “received with meekness, this engrafted word (a reference from James 1:21b; KJV). I explained that I had been blaming them for things that had happened to me. As humbling an experience as that was, I couldn’t help but to think how much of a jerk I had been to this person, which made me feel even worse.
Once I had asked this person for forgiveness, something more bizarre happened. I experienced forgiveness myself. It was as if the words coming out of my mouth were reciprocating back to me, wrapping me into a web of forgiveness. What a sight to marvel. I am reminded that 2 Corinthians 7:10 talks about how “godly sorrow works repentance to salvation (forgiveness)”. This feeling of godly sorrow was quite intense for me, but its fruit yielded forgiveness for us both. I know this much to be true: This chapter in my life has been sealed with peace. That’s crazy, right? Selah.
So, if there is anyone in your life that you need to forgive, go into deep prayer about it. He will show you what to do.
Until we meet again: Love and Peace.