But what caused all of this? I’m glad you asked.
My family and I were attending a wedding. I was about 14 years old at the time. At this point, we’re at the reception. The Reverend asked everyone to stand, to say the food blessing. We walked in through the side door, having just arrived while the prayer was happening. A gentleman was passing out folding chairs. I took a chair unfolding it. I sat down. The chair collapsed underneath me, making a loud sound as hey said,”Amen.” Saying that I was embarrassed is putting it mildly.
I was mortified.
And to make matters worse, my dad asked,”Are you okay,” through his chuckles. I decided that day, that I would not let that happen to me ever again (no, really: NEVER again). I would be prepared. To this day, I still check the sit-worthiness of a folding chair before I sit down.
See that right there? I learned to be fearful of folding chairs at 14. That little experience made me more uptight. These and other episodes slowly took away my confidence and filled me with fear. Moving forward, I operated from a place of fear. Fears of this. Fears of that. The “what if” fears. The “it-won’t-happen-in-a-million-years-but-I’m-thinking-about-it-so-it-is-possible-right” fears.
Why am I writing about this now?
Well, there’s a reason for everything (but that’ll have to wait until next time).
Love & Peace