Fear is like a damn bloomin’ onion; there are so many freakin’ layers.
I’ve been going through this metamorphosis as of the last two weeks. My mind has been shifting away from the idea of fear. But before I get to that, lemme tell you what I realized first.
I consider myself to be a pretty prepared guy. In fact, my preparedness is one of the attributes that my wife likes about me. I like that about me too, but that was before I realized why I was so anal retentive.
I was a super-planner because of fear. I would strategically hashout every, single, little detail. People thoughtthatI was the most prepared guy on the planet; I planned out of fear.
I would tell myself, ”You have to be prepared for ANY and EVERYTHING.” (There’s more to why I felt thisway, but we’ll talk about it later.)
That way, nothingwouldtake me by surprise. STAYing ready” has been my mantra for over 20 years. Whatif this happened? What ifthat happened? Don’t worry, because I wouldbe prepared for it-or so I thought. Butsomething still managed to go awry; something I didn’t think of. Instead of justgoing withthe flow, I wouldthink MORE for the next time. Thinking this way should make me tired, but I persevere in the face of the mental tiredness.
But what caused all of this?
This is a good place to put a bookmark. We’ll talk more about that next time.
-Love & Peace