when do you know the dance has ended? (part 1)


Do you know when?

Would you say it’s when the song begins to slow down or when it fades out? I’ve taken some time to really think about this, but not from the angle you might think.

There are two people in a ballroom. One person asks the other to dance.  The other agrees. They begin slow-dancing to a song (this represents the start of a friendship). And let’s say that this song represents the length or season of their friendship. Some songs are longer than others. We like friends. We want friends to stay around forever. That may not be their reality though.

when do you know the dance has ended- pt 1Through this relinquishing of wills, you allow someone else to lead for a while. You may step on each other’s feet, but that’s normal. Do you keep dancing? Certainly. But do you keep dancing seeing as though the song has long since ended?  If you’re enjoying the company, you will. If you’re not [enjoying it], you can feel like you’re in limbo, like a staring contest: you’re just waiting out the other person to see if they will blink [stop dancing] first. Sometimes, we put ourselves through that agony, but for what? So we can prove that we were the better friend? To prove that we lasted until the end? That we have endurance?  We can sum this up in one word: loyalty. Lemme tell you that loyalty will cause you to endure hardship, sometimes to your own detriment. I’m at an expert level when it comes to doing things in the name of loyalty; even if it’s been self-inflicted.

I’m just gonna see what happens.  Would you apply this logic to your dance partner?  Can you imagine letting go of your partner’s hand to see if he/she keeps dancing or not, while you stand back observing? That sounds weird (and a little funny). So why do we find it acceptable to apply this logic to a friend? The problem with this stream of thought is that we may be telling ourselves the truth, as we secretly hope that things work out for better (keeping the friendship). The thing is, life is very fluid; it ebbs and flows. Our lives won’t stop if we lost a friend anymore than it would by gaining one. Life will go on. And you will be fine. One thing’s for sure: if you try to hold onto something (or someone) who doesn’t belong, you will find that person causing discomfort in your life.

Adding new friends should be a harmonious addition. I pay close attention to dissonance in my life. If new friends aren’t adding to the group dynamic, rest assured, things always find a way of releasing themselves.  “If the glove don’t fit, they must out-get,” (I tried really hard to make that rhyme). But hey: you don’t have to take my word for it.

There’s more, but let’s just pause this until next time.

Love & Peace.



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