think.

Sometimes, we lie to ourselves.  We’d like to believe that what we say have no merit, as if the words just fall to the ground never to be heard from again.  But words have great power.  Words have value.  Words create.  We cannot escape words.  Words are everywhere.  Yet, and still: we don’t take careful consideration of our self-talk.

The words that we speak are so important. They affirm us.  They direct us (rather we believe it or not). It gives us the power to move forward or be stagnant.  Most of all, they shape how we see ourselves.

When I was in the second grade, I remember vividly having an assignment in which we had to write five sentences.  Well, I completed the assignment, but my teacher (nor my parents) were very happy with it.  Here were just two of the sentences that I remember:

• “I am stupid.”
• “I am dumb.”

While this is really hard for me to read such things that my then seven-year-old self thought, they serve a purpose.  These two sentences have shaped much of my life and I have battled with a skewed self image of myself for over 30 years.  I felt like I wasn’t good enough, so I became a perfectionist.  I became hard on myself.  I settled for being a girl’s friend when I really wanted to date her (this is high school, folks. We’ll have to explore my relationship woes in another post. Ha!).  I never spoke up for myself, therefore willfully volunteering me for some rather unfortunate situations.

All of this blossomed out of my negative self-talk (albeit, I said it not only to myself, but to my teacher and my parents in my homework journal—whoops).

(I don’t want to be misleading: I’ve had some great, positive self-talk moments that have shaped me as well.  Maybe we’ll talk about them in another post.)

Things have certainly changed from 198x.  Do episodes of seven-year-old Herbie surface?  *slaps forehead* UGH!  Yes.  When he does, I am better equipped to combat these noxious thoughts.  I reaffirm myself with words and things that will help reel me back into reality (I have an affirmation list on my phone).  I’ve worked really hard and continue to, making sure that he doesn’t stay around for long.

Well, that’s all I got.

Until next time,

Love & Peace.