As of late, one of the reoccurring questions in my life has been, “Did I just miss something?”  I recently had this conversation with one of my friends, and I wanted to share a story with you, to give you some perspective on who I am.  Please don’t laugh too hard (I’m smiling already).  By the way, I spell names backwards to protect the innocent…..well, kind of.  Ha!

It’s 4th grade (circa ’87-’88 school year, for all those history buffs out there, lol).  We were in class relaxing, when I noticed a group of boys near me snickering.  They seemed to be looking at something small, but I couldn’t really tell what it was.  They would put it up to the light, look through it, and begin giggling.  I asked one of the boys to look at it but he declined, through his muffled laughter.  I didn’t think that was very cool at all. 

Later on, I notice that one of the boys put something in the trash.  I invoked my stealthy, ninja-like moves, to approach the trashcan.  It was small, mostly orange and had a kind of “peep hole” on one end.  [I’m shaking my head at myself just recounting this pathetic story.]

So, I stand at the trashcan, looking through the hole.  I discover a beautiful blonde, to my surprise.  I wanted to keep it but the picture was a little cracked.  Just as I raised my hand to throw the picture in the trash, my teacher, Ms. Yelroc used her stealth to stand right beside me (hey what can I say, I wasn’t paying that much attention).  She asks, “Herbie, what’s that?  Let me have it.”  She holds out her hand.  This can’t be good.

I hand it over, she looks in it, and asks me to step outside the classroom.  The dialogue goes like this:

Yelroc: “Where did you get this from?”

Me: “From the trashcan.”

Yelroc: “Do you realize this is a picture of a woman with her shirt open?”

Me: “Huh?!  What?!  I thought that it was just a picture of a pretty lady.”

[Let me take this time to say that I was so innocent, that I didn’t realize that the woman’s shirt was open.  I had no clue!  I was just as astonished as Ms. Yelroc was!  I couldn’t believe it!  It’s hilarious to this day because I still remember the picture, but not her chest area (if you know what I mean).  LOL.]

After some thought, she says,”I won’t tell your parents right away.  I will only tell them if you have a long string of [behavior problems], then I’ll tell them.  Do you think you will have a long string of things for me to tell them?”  I said, “Yeah.”  At this time, I’m thinking, “C’mon teach!  I really didn’t know that it was a picture of a partially clothed woman.  Cut me some slack.”  We concluded our conference with the extremely one-sided agreement.  The bright side: At least there would be a stay on my execution. 

The next day, she informed me that she would “wipe the slate clean,” and not hold it over my head.  I was so thankful for her having mercy on me. 

What’s the moral of this story?  Well, there are a few things I’ve learned as a result of all this.  First, I learned to mind my business and not go into the trashcan again.  Secondly, no, my parents never found out about that story (well, maybe they know now).  Lastly, I can miss things some times.  I still miss things to this day.  For example, I am so thick-headed when it comes to interest from women.  I am like the worst person on planet Earth when it comes to that. 

At any rate,  we all can let things go “over our heads.”  I know I did…….BIG TIME.

Until next time,

Love, Peace & Increased Awareness.

-Herbie