So, there’s no picture attached to this blog post. I feel that what I have to say is more important than being distracted by a visually stimulating image. You see, I am at the point in my life where things are taking off, and there is no time for stutter steps. I am becoming more healthy everyday, I have a budding career and my music is slowly and steadily taking off. Who could ask for anything more? As I was told the other day, this year is going to be an awesome one (and I agree 100%)! Fly like an eagle, baby!
It’s insane because, if this were a year ago, I would tell you that I felt D-E-A-D. I mean it. I can remember, going through the rigmarole of a rather mundane cycle of sleep, work, home and then back to sleep. It seemed that I had wanted such a life so badly, considering I had a stable job, a loving wife and paid all of my bills on time (well, relatively at least). I can remember my father say, “When you get out of college, you want to make sure you have a good job, with benefits. And make sure you go to church!” While I had accomplished all that he and others may have wanted for me, I still had a void in my life. I am now just realizing what that feeling was all about. I had accomplished his goals for me, and not my own. It took me 30+ years to figure out that I need to live for me, and no one else (sorry Dad). I began asking myself, “What is it that you want to do with yourself? What do you want to pursue? What drives you? When I look back at my life, I want to make sure that my life was filled with things that make me feel a sense of self-accomplishment. Not regret of things I was too afraid to try. As a matter of fact, I had roasted duck tonight for the first time. Not bad!
I am now beginning to see the winds swirl about me, and things are just getting started. Things that I merely thought about are beginning to materialize. Just a thought. Wow. For instance, God has given me the courage to teach others through the gift he has intrusted to my hands. A week ago, I had one client. On Saturday, I had a message on FB asking me to teach vocally. And then there were two. Through a meeting I had on Saturday, it looks like I could be playing for a small group soon (drums). That’s amazing because I said to myself that I was going to start looking for a band to play for this summer in DC. Even my thoughts are blessed. That’s insane. I only began to realize all that is happening around me, and prayers are being answered: left and right.
Please understand that while I am thankful, I am not complacent. I cannot simply “mark time” in place. I am steadily working at becoming a better teacher, writer, musician, friend, son, brother, cousin, producer, uncle and follower of Jesus. I am still honing my skills on so many levels. You know, I find myself becoming a better communicator and I count that as a miracle. My middle name used to be “Avoids-confrontation-at-all-costs”. My name is already changing. All of this is so I can be better. A better person. At the end of the day, I need to love myself, and like the decisions I made in that day. I intend to do just that by making better decisions. Does that cause me to develop an immunization to bad decisions? No way. I’m sure I will make mistakes. That’s just a part of life, and one must learn how to recognize it when they happen, vowing to do better. That’s all you will ever have. The beautiful ability to try to do better.
Brand new mercies.
Love & Peace.