Not so Happy Holidays

Happy holidays to both of my blog followers (lol).  This time of year, people are visiting their loved ones, enjoying all that comes along with family time.  For some people, it’s another holiday without the ones they love.  Even within my own life, I am missing someone as well.  Christmas Day was a little difficult for me this year.  You see, it was this time last year that I informed my family that I would be a father.  I was ecstatic.  I dreamed of the days of holding my child, and enjoying being a father.  After all, this was something that I wanted for quite a long time.  Everyone was just as happy as I was, and I was grinning from ear to ear.Then, on February 16 of this year, my elation turned to sorrow as GOD saw fit to delay my fatherhood.  I was really hurt because from that defining moment, it exposed cracks in my armor.  I truly understand how powerful GOD is and how feeble I am.  I thought, “How could you do this, GOD?  What have I done to deserve such a thing?  I have been following you!  Is this my repayment?”  GOD in HIS infinite wisdom, allowed me to rant, and not scorn me right away for my contempt (HIS Spirit took care of that later, as I experienced Godly sorrow for my sin).  I wondered how could so many people who didn’t care for their kids were allowed to have them.  I understand that this is judgment upon people, but I was really upset with the Lord.  I didn’t know how else to feel.  To make matters worse, I was accused of not caring about the loss of our child because I didn’t emote tears.  You get the point, right?Although this has happened, I still have not lost hope or faith in GOD.  I understand that everything happens the way it’s supposed to.  The safest place for me is to be in the will of GOD.  In HIS will, there is stability.  In HIS will is comfort.  What better way than to have the ONE who created you, look out for you.  HE has your best interest in mind.  Understand that this is not a tirade about what has happened in my life this year, but instead is a cathartic way of handling situations that have occurred in my life.  By writing this, I will help someone else get through their tough time.  Trust me, it can be done.  You can overcome any tough time that you may be having.  Just try your best not to lose hope, and if you do, someone will come into your life to help push you along.  For me, it’s been a few friends to keep me going (in addition to praying).  For you, it may be a few friends, too.  It may be praying.  It may be chopping wood.  Whatever it is, you owe it to yourself to preserve your happiness: at all costs.

Adversity has brought much needed attention to my walk with GOD.  I try my best not to ignore GOD, even if I simply tell HIM “hello”, during my day.  Any relationship worth having is worth investing time in.  Peace.


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