Being contrite has it’s privledges.

You know, it’s sad when you don’t think that you need anyone for anything.  That’s pride.  I used to be full of pride, and didn’t even know it.  It’s not impossible for me to be full of this undesirable trait at all.  My group of, “The few, the proud, my friends”, think that because I lack other commonly copious traits, I must not have much issues.  Ha!  If only that were true.  The absence of sober self esteem gave way for prideful thinking to take root.  I confused low self esteem for humility.  You can have no confidence and be prideful simultaneously (trust me, I know).  I am asking God to work on my heart and mind regarding them both.  I use the term “sober” because I am reminded in Romans 12:3,  “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.”It’s important to mention that I’m at a point in my life right now that God is uncovering all of the stuff that I have been too busy to willfully submit to Him in the past.  The difference between God and man: God uncovers your sins to help you further along in your journey.  Man, on the other hand does it to humiliate you, at your own expense.  God uncovers with love; man does so with malice.  Ugh!  I feel so foolish for many of the things that I’ve done that didn’t honor the Lord.I truly am a work in progress.  I used to hear people say that before, but didn’t care enough to ponder about what that really meant.  Well, take it from me, I now know, that’s for sure.  I do grow weary sometimes when I feel like I can’t get anything right.  That’s not of God, because His way is not to make me weary when it comes to correction.  He does not oppress.  Instead, he vindicates us.This journey called life is truly something to marvel.  Most days I marvel, some days I scratch my head in disbelief.  At times, God allows me to see a small stream of what he’s doing in my life, and some days I have to wait to see what he’s up to.  In fact, most days I am not privy to His plans, and I’ll be the first to admit that I am not as steadfast about trusting Him in spite of what things look like.  I just know now that when I doubt His perfect way, I just pray (which is becoming more of a first reaction instead of a last resort).Enough.  Until next time: Peace!

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