maybe now’s a good time


Issues

Maybe now’s a good time to tell you about something that happened long ago.  Back in 2nd grade, I was given a homework assignment that said I had to write 10 sentences talking about myself.  Certainly, I thought that this would be a miniscule task for then 2nd grade Herbie.  Well, I was wrong, a little.

At the time, I had just started creating the blueprint of my low self esteem wall.  I remember it clearly.  I wrote this:

  1. I am dumb.
  2. I am stupid.

(I forgot the rest of the sentences.)

I turned in my homework the next day.  While I’m not sure of what I transpired (it’s been almost 30 years ago), I do know that that moment has haunted me to this day.  I’m embarrassed to share this childhood episode with you even now.  Maybe it’s because I still see that little boy, standing there, believing nothing good about himself.

Where did these thoughts come from?  I have no idea.  My parents have never spoken such words to me.  But, nevertheless, those thoughts were there.  When I was asked why I wrote this, I can remember thinking, “I did write in complete sentences, right?”  I don’t remember my exact response, but I’m sure it ended with a shrug.

We all battle things.  I’m not sure why, but we all do.  I don’t know why low self esteem has been my fight.  As an adult, I have and continue to work very hard to accept who I am.   And I maintain, mostly.  When times are hard, I encourage myself to focus on the great things that I have going for me, and to be attentive to those that have been set to my hands.  So, in other words, I tell myself to focus (on me).

As a result of fighting through my own struggles, I have unknowingly built a new wall of encouragement.  Nowadays, I have more opportunities to help others see the great that lies within.  Maybe it’s because I’ve had a great deal of practice.  No matter the reason, I am glad to help people think well of themselves.

I guess life is funny in that way.  I mean, here I was, a guy who has struggled with self-acceptance issues most my my life, and here I am helping others.  Yeah, life is funny: indeed.

Until Next time,

love & peace.

-Herbie

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About GLL+

A blog about giving more, loving more and living more. Finding better ways of doing each of these everyday. A journey through self-discovery.
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