maybe it’s time alpha

It’s 0430 on a school morning, and I think my body is done sleeping.  I normally wake up at 0515 (0530 if I’m honest) and get ready for school, but this morning is a little different.  I had a dream that I saw a lot of my band buddies from college.  We were all at a restaurant, laughing and joking.  I was “working the crowd,” as I normally do, walking around greeting everyone.  It was great, well mostly.

deletecontactIn the dream, I saw one of my old college friends.  He was one of those people that I considered as a friend, although he really never appreciated having a good one (in me).  I have fought the feeling that it was the end of the road for us for quite some time, but my dream sealed the deal.  Upon leaving the restaurant, I saw him.  I said “what’s up”, but it felt forced.  Honestly, it felt like I didn’t know him anymore.  We were polite, but that was it.

Now that I’m awake, I feel that it’s time for us to part ways as old college friends.  While it stinks a little bit, it must be done.  Prior to me typing this last sentence, I deleted his contact card in my phone.  It had to be done.  This isn’t done out of malice, but it’s about me knowing when it’s time to “get off of the train.”

I’ve always been that guy who had trouble recognizing when it was time to move on.  I’ve always had trouble knowing when the jig was up.  I’ve tried to resuscitate friendships that were meant for naught.  This is a new perspective for me now, though.  It feels foreign, but the more I write, the more at peace I am with it.  I’m learning that it’s okay to realize the “shelf life” of those friendships that no longer offer a mutual benefit.  There’s only one thing left: The purge.

No hard feelings, right?  Cool.

Until next time,

Love & Peace



2 thoughts on “maybe it’s time alpha

  1. It hurts to do that, sometimes… but it is necessary in order to move on. I’ve had to let go of toxic people and friendships because it was not healthy for anyone involved. Any relationship should be based on trust, honesty, and communication. If any one of those elements isn’t there and continues to be missing, fix it or move on. Doesn’t bode well for the body, heart, or soul to keep on fighting for those things when the other party won’t fight/compromise/commiserate with you to make something positive happen.

    Keep on smiling, because you have an infectious one! People are always attracted to a positive attitude and a great personality…. seems to run in the Brown family. I hope you have an amazing day! 🙂


  2. Yep, the necessary evil, I reckon. Letting go of toxicity in your life can be hard at first, but you’ll be a lot healthier for it. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it. Always. Take care and keep smiling, Trish.


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