The elephant in the room says I haven’t been posting much. Who asked you, Ms. Elephant? Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have posted tonight, but I got a nudge from an unexpected source . More about that in a moment. First, Let me explain where I’ve been.
My last post was published on October 23, 2019 (Fear: I Don’t Want To Lose You). The next month, we had our second child, Bella-Jae. Already having one child, life ramped up quickly. Juggling family, work, an emerging business, and private lessons had my hands full: And I loved every minute of it. Late at night, when I wasn’t studying how to color-correct, how to get my synth to sit in the “mix” properly, reading a little, or catching up on sleep, I found time to write.
In my phone, I have quite a few writings: poems, blog posts, and fragments that aren’t done (because there’s more to say and I haven’t figured out how to say it yet).
Then Covid happened. During an election year.
Like everyone else, I’ve had many thoughts during this time, but some of them include: those who have passed on, keeping my family safe, how will this effect my business, how will my kids develop during this time, and many more thoughts. Those are just thoughts related to Covid.
But the more pressing question: Why didn’t I publish anything? Over the past 6 months, I have spent a great deal of time on social media. I have seen the ugliness of people, especially pertaining to politics, police brutality and even basic human rights. I’ve wanted to say something about today’s world, but my thoughts are so vast. And I am complex. The weight of it all has been too much. I’ve been so stressed, I wake up in the middle of the night, heart pumping like a train speeding down the track. Many nights. Thinking all sorts of thoughts. The truth is that I can simply log off of social media, but what I see are many people’s reality of which they cannot log out.
Although negativity’s voice speaks the loudest, I choose to look for positivity in most situations. I have seen the kindness of others, the celebration of friendship through conversation and true understanding (beyond using the craftiness of words to win an argument). I’ve seen more kindness than this.
So how did we get here tonight?
I opened a direct message from my GiveLoveLiveMore IG account (go follow if you haven’t). It was from my college friend and frat bother that he left a few weeks ago. Josh simply asked, “What happened to the blog posts man?”
And that’s how we got here. That was the nudge I needed.
Until Next Time.
Love & Peace,